The world and me !

Things to do when you're blue..!

2011-05-13T12:52:00.000-07:00

Yeah, that's me feeling blue :(

I saw this movie The Social Network recently and then googled Mark Zuckerberg. And he says somewhere that you could do extraordinary things or get great inspiration when you work through the night! This must be true considering the example of my favourite musician A.R.Rahman who's known to compose all his music during wee hours.

That being the case, I think I’ve hit on some exciting new ways of spending time when you're feeling really low and I’m going to put them down right now, throwing the law of diminishing returns aside!

Perhaps you failed an exam, screwed an interview, you're jobless, your people hate you or your girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with you... it can be anything because things that can get you down are quite many in number.

1. Write a crazy blog.

Yeah, it works. And you're right! I’m not feeling very great as well. Screwed a life changing interview. But that doesn’t matter now because I’m writing and you guys are reading it! Or perhaps nobody would read it... it doesn’t matter either because I’m getting it out of my system.

2. Watch some videos from www.ted.com

You might feel lazy to log into this site and would rather waste away your time on facebook chatting with some drag-guy or shifting through profiles. But this is one awesome place with talks that might change the way you think.

3. Meet or read about strange people

Sometimes, voyeurism does well! Look up blogs. Type random search words and read what some individual in some remote corner of the world feels about life. Comment on the posts. Do a lot of commenting. The very grateful blogger is sure to get back to you or at least thank you for reading his crap.

4. Imagine.

Imagine yourself to be a completely different person with a totally different set of situations to deal with. Live your life in the shoes of the pseudo-person. Get into a voluntary-temporary multiple personality disorder.
I’m a hyper-active ex- college girl! I’m full of looking-forward-thing for my new job. And my house looks messy and mom goes around telling me to clean up my stuff. Now I imagine myself as a housewife! I do it though I have no inclination whatsoever of becoming one in real time. But my pseudo-self cleans the house to please her mother-in-law :)

5. Paint. Draw. Sketch. Scribble.

It’d have been years since those primary school years when you actually used paints. But there's some little magic in different hues coming together! Call it a rainbow magic or whatever... take a white sheet and try copying some random object in front of you into the paper. Persist for a minimum of 10 minutes.
That doesn’t work?? Then get yourself a beautiful white sheet. And some paints. Green, red and blue are a must. Dip that bushy brush into the paint bottle and tenderly touch the paper with it.... ecstasy!!

6. Get yourself your own social cause

This might sound a little more serious than the frivolous few ideas mentioned above. But it helps! Identify an area that u think the society needs to be corrected in. Read about it and start preaching! To anybody who hears. Create an identity for yourself. A new one.

7. Dont indulge. But do really cheap things.

I don't go with the notion that indulging yourself cures you of feeling low. That might give u a temporary satisfaction. But you're bound to regret later that you must've saved the money!
Instead, imagine yourself to be poor. Eat bread and sleep on the floor. Go to office by walk, or take the bus. That next day, when you're back to being your normal richer self, you're bound to feel better.

8. Blow bubbles

Yeah, you might be a workaholic 35 year old or some CEO of a very serious firm wearing suits. But do some handiwork of mixing water with detergent or soap and looking around for a straw. Blow nice little bubbles into the air, see them fly and burst them if you must :)

9. Play Neopets! Own a virtual pet, that is!

Visit www.neopets.com and sign up for a pet :) It's so much fun because there is a lot to explore in neo-world.Competitions, quests, fairies, haunted mansios, the underwater worlds, kings, frog princes etc etc...It's a little world in itself . Isn't HARRY POTTER interesting? The same way... Trust me, you'll love it!
Once you sign up, add me as a friend. My pet is a green elephante named 'yenuga'. (Username)

10. Watch Cartoons. Preferably, Phineas and Ferb.

I know it was funny when you were a kid. But believe me; it’s more funnier now because you can make out the dialogues. :P Disney channel cartoons are my favourites. Anyways, here are a few humorous ones- Phineas and Ferb, Timor and Pumba, Ben10, Scooby doo, Mr.Bean. and here is a link to my post as to why I like Phineas and Ferb. Yep, that’s an altogether different topic :)

So thats how it works. These are just a few of the many little pleasures you can get from life. You just gotta identify them and give them a try... So toodles for now... Catch ya!

My Red Flower..

2011-01-16T09:13:00.000-08:00

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A road.

A long road… the end of which is not visible...

I’m cycling… searching…

Wind blowing against my face, my hair flying, smell of damp mud..

Nobody around..

“Where is everybody?” I wonder.., taking in every detail of the town that was once mine, once lively..

I recognize the old buildings, notice the new creepers.. And for a moment, I’m pulled back into my old memories… I smile..

Yes, I’ve come back after six years… things have changed…

I cycle harder, each second, getting closer to my destination- the end of the road, where those red flowers bloomed.. The flowers that I once admired, but dint dare to touch fearing the thorns; the flowers that I was just content looking at from a safe distance; and the flowers that have haunted me ever since for the past six years..

The winds now change direction, making it easy for me to drive… I wonder about the weather, the strong winds, and pray the changes of seasons haven’t taken away the flowers… my flowers!

I dream of their irresistible fragrance again; I yearn to touch their soft petals, take some of them back home with me, show my friends, and preserve them inside my dictionary forever..

I drive along... It starts to rain. But I can see the end of the road now. Only a few more meters..

Tall trees fill my view. I leave my cycle beside one of them and wade through the slush, searching for the little red wonders and thorny bushes. I look around helplessly… there seems to be no bushes here. I walk further in. still, no sign… “Have you taken them way?”, I cry to the winds! The rain drenches me completely… I feel numb cold and empty..

I return back to my cycle and sit down… “Why has god, who let this desire to see those flowers survive in me, not let those flowers survive..?”. a mild breeze blows across my face now; and I catch a faint whiff of a familiar scent… I turn back hurriedly and there, between two large trees, are a few thorny bushes… and a single large red flower.. The one flower that survived..!

I walk towards it. The flower is more beautiful than I’ve ever known. The dew drops on the petals, little yellow pollens in the middle, and everything reminds me of old times.. Memories come rushing back.

I reach out my hand to touch my flower.. pricking my hands in the process… a few drops of blood trickle down.. But I don’t care now.. I just can’t take my eyes off it..

I touch the flower again.. And again… But somehow, I’m unable to get myself pluck it..

The sight of it, happy, radiant and beautiful in its own place makes me smile…

I take back my hand.

“Live on, my red flower..”, I say… and walk back to my cycle.
..

CAT 2010- The experience

2010-11-11T03:05:00.000-08:00

After all that I went through for my CAT exam, I thought it best to put my experiences here, so you can all have an idea of how it was. . If the exam weren’t so serious, it would have actually been funny!

So here goes….

The night before the exam, I got cold feet about my admit card which said I should bring a photo identification with a name that exactly matched the name on my admit card. The problem was that my driving-license and my college id had the name yeshwanti, while I’d entered yeshwanthi on my cat form. Fearing a possible disqualification, my dad and I went affidavit-hunting that night… and got it. If that was freaky, read on for more..

The most anticipated and the most dreaded day dawned on November 7th. I woke up early and put on my thickest jacket (for it was cold outside and I dint want that to disturb me during the exam). My dad thought mosquitoes could be a greater source of disturbance and bought me this Odomos cream. I packed stationary, voucher, photo ids, affidavit, etc and set out for THE EXAM centre (veltech engineering college)

I reached the centre at 8.00am along with Cyclone JAL, that was in its full form! We (test takers) were huddled under the entrance dome for half an hour before we were called inside, and I heard strange sounds from people next to me (which I later realized were from their chattering teeth). Thank god, I had my jacket!

After all the formalities of identity checking, pocket checking etc, we were seated in front of our respective terminals, given scratch papers and pencils and were instructed not to write anything on the paper until the exam started.

But I, being the bum that I was, wrote my time allocation strategy in one corner of the sheet.

2.15 – 1.35 – ps

1.35- 0.55- di

0.55-0.15—va/rc

(Being CAT prep students, I’m sure you understood the above jargon)

Then we were asked to click the START MY TEST tab, and my terminal was taking a long time to load! During this time, I kinda closed my eyes to pray and calm my nerves, and was asleep in no time!!!

The invigilator woke me up and pointed out that the computer had to be restarted as I’d slept through some of the processes to start the test.. During this, another irksome invigilator noticed the writing on my scratch sheet and threatened to report me for violation of rules!!

All this made me terribly tensed. I took up the exam in a state I’d never imagined I’d be… I could see all my self-talks and exercises to remain calm on D-Day, going up in smoke. Nothing was helping.

I realized then that if fate had preordained me to be tensed on the CAT day, that’d happen, no matter what!

But to my relief, the Quants section (the one I usually suck at) turned out to be easy… Most of the questions were from numbers and basic arithmetic. Despite my nerves, I attempted around 10 questions there. DI wasn’t bad either. The questions were long, but were pretty direct… I attempted 10 questions there too. Next came the English section, my strength (as I call it). There were three passages, of which I attempted two. The rest were the usual vocab questions, no surprises there!

On the whole, I think I attempted around 35 questions….

Once out of the hall, I explained to the invigilator that I’d written down the time strategy and nothing else. He was okay with it, I guess..

Well.. So that’s my story.. I just have to wait and watch or hope for the best or blah blah...

And thanks dad, mom, and friends who stayed by me all the time...

Tada!

And Good luck 

yesh

DIWALI 2010

2010-11-05T07:02:00.000-07:00

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It’s Diwali today :)

People are so happy and gay.

Crackers and lights all over,

Sweets and snacks like never!

I eat them humbly and sit with books,

For there’s an exam and I’m on tenterhooks..

Oh, why cant I be with people around...?

With fun and frolic all abound...?

I know I’m not popular like my brother,

And don’t fit in with the crowd either..

But right now I need someone,

To coax me out and show me fun,

For (come on) it’s Diwali, the festival of light and sound,

And I so wanna run around..

.

Dark Days

2010-10-04T07:19:00.001-07:00

Life is becoming tough for me… I’m reeling under depression for unnecessary things... I don’t know if it’s due to the pressure I’m putting myself through for an MBA seat, or if it’s the deep rooted insecurity surfacing again after three years...

Whatever the reason be, I can’t afford this disease to linger… It’s killing me, taking away my time, dampening my spirits, making me cry and leaving me dejected.

I console myself by talking to god, begging him to help me control my seemingly unrelenting mind, or by reminding myself that there are still people who love me in this world and that I should remain happy for their sake… happy for dear mom, darling dad and sweetheart Sai.

I try hard to be optimistic, I read the spiritual columns of the newspaper.. Desperate to find something that might lift my spirits and pull me away from the dark depressing scary shackles of my mind…

I turn to mu friends, sometimes messaging people at random, trying to engage them in meaningless conversations.. But it doesn’t help. They turn away bored, disinterested, or worse, bugged.

I’m confused, at the end of my wits. I can’t get into dance again, like I did last time to ward off the same.., because this thing is bound to come back.

This has to end. I have to end it.

But how??? Plzzz help!!

Aimless writing, it is...

2010-01-12T10:11:00.000-08:00

Aimless writing means u r either vexed or are feeling restless that u want to let out all the bottled up feelings and frustrations.
I think I'm either one of these.. but I lack patience to analyse which of the two.

Things going on around me seem so meaningless... Why is there a college called Jaya? Why are there zits on my forehead? Why am i a lazy bum? Why do my friends chatter non-stop?

Dad said my moon is in a bad position... So I'll be like this for the rest of the year. To placate this tendency I'll have to wear a moonstone ring... I dunno how much it'll help, but i think it's worth a try. Besides, i feel like a good moonstone ring right now... But i dunno when I'll get to buy it.

Anyways, hope my jumpy nerves don't get the better of me..
god, be with me!

luv,
yeshu

HAPPY 2010! :)

2010-01-01T08:38:00.000-08:00

Hello Everybody!

Lets rock this year! :)
Lets be kind, confident, calm, busy, exciting and every other good thing we can think of :)
We might not know how this year is gonna turn out to be, but we must know how we r gonna make it to be :)... the rest is left to fate of course..

Anyways, wishing you all a very HAPPY NEW YEAR! Luv ya all :)
-
Yeshu :)

college frustrations..

2009-12-27T09:18:00.000-08:00

I dunno why they want to conduct exams besides keeping the college open on 31st... It's not like we have a new year's eve everyday.. I think the principal is either a psychopath or seriously mentally depraved. He's so damn adamant about making everyone attend college on 31st. And if we try bunking and giving excuses, we've gotta stand outta d class the next day..

I think his wife tortures him so much at home, and serves unimaginably terrible food that he feels college is the best place to spend his new year eve.
But it's of no concern to him that his students would be gloomily preparing for the tests instead of thinking up new year resolutions and getting set for party nights. It's of no concern to him that a new year is about to begin, for god's sake!
He's got no social life, and that's for sure. I guess his world is confined to the four walls of his office room and his wife's terrible food.

I'm not here to insult my principal or to apply dung on my college's reputed name (awful name, if u ask me) I'm here because he's a honorable man. A honorable man who always wishes to speak a few words during the symposiums, not in the least aware that his audience is laughing at his english and not his jokes.

Anyways, I have this strange feeling that if my principal or anyone else from the management reads this and understands it by freak chance, they might conduct exams during pongal diwali too... So I better stop here. And to all my college friends who are annoyed to their brims, HaPpY NeW YeAr :-)
And to everyone else out there, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Have an exciting 2010! :-)

The teacher who din't want to ba a teacher- PART-3

2009-12-13T11:23:00.000-08:00

Don't read this if u haven't read PART-2

THREE YEARS PASSED...

A month after the conversation, Ms.Viji got an offer to work as an assistant professor in a reputed college in Bangalore. She left the school after wishing Radhika good luck and promised to keep in touch. But that never happened. Lives were hectic for both of them and they couldn't keep in touch. U could say they quite forgot each other in three years time.. Because,but for the conversation on that fateful day, they had never been really close.

BANGALORE

December 3rd, 9:30 pm

Ms.Viji (or shall we say just Viji from now on) was lying on the bed and watching TV.
Vir entered the room and sat beside her. Viji regarded him. His mere presence made her feel happy and secure. She had married him a year back and had never once regretted her decision.

"What are you watchin,dear?" asked Vir

"Femina Miss India South pageant ", Viji said. " It's the questionnaire round. It's interesting. Come and watch."

"Great! U are the only wife in the state who lets her husband drool over other women.. Thanks Viji", he said with a grin.

"I dint say drool. I just said watch!", snapped Viji.

The beauty pageant was on it's final round with it's final contestant answering her questions. The judgment panel consisted of five successful personalities from various fields.
One of the lady judges was asking-"What are you truly passionate about?"

"Music.. I love singing", The girl replied.

"If we agree to give you the crown on the condition that you stop pursuing ur passion, will you accept it?", the lady judge was asking...

"Wooh! I think this judge looks way hotter than most of the contestants", Vir said. " U have any idea who she is?"

But Viji wasn't hearing what he was saying. She was staring transfixed at the TV.

"Do U have any idea who she is?" Vir reapeated " Hey! Why are you gaping like that?"

"Ra.. Radhika..!",Viji spluttered

"What?"

"That's Radhika.. That lady asking questions.. She was my friend in Chennai.. We worked for the same school.", She said. "I...I cant believe this."

"Er.. U mean the chemistry teacher u once told me about?"

"Yeah, It's her. Vir, I must get in touch with her immediately and know what happened after I left chennai. She's a judge for a beauty pageant.. That means she would have made it big, right?"

"Yep, really big!", Vir said.

"Oh, I'm so curious. Switch on the computer,Vir. And search for radhika on all networking sites.."

CHENNAI,

December 9th, 4:30 pm

Finally, after a lot of searching, scrapping, mailing, texting and calling, Viji flew down to chennai, and Radhika met her at a cafe.

"Radhika, I'm extremely surprised. U've changed totally.", said an excited Viji. "Ur looks, walk, attire, attitude... Wow! It's great see you. And I'm dying to know what happened after I left for Bangalore."

Radhika laughed and said "It's great to see you too viji... And I haven't really changed... This is what I am.. this is how I've always been..."

"But that chemistry-teacher years.. well.. u know...", said Viji

"Ya, I looked quite bland then,dint I?... I think doing what I dint enjoy doing took away the spirit out of me. I'm now back to normal", She smiled.

"So tell me what happened", urged Viji.

"That talk with u that day set me thinking... After U left, I accidentally bumped into my old dance teacher in a mall one day. She and I got talking..."

"Hmmm."

Radhika continued- "My teacher had this dream of setting up a big school of arts.. like classical dance, music, etc.. I teamed up with her and started working to make that dream come true.."
"We then started with a small school. It grew bigger. And now we have branches all over the state and even one in the United States.", Radhika said, beaming at the last word.

"Amazing... I'm very happy for you, Radhika", said Viji.

"So how about you? What've you been doing?", asked Radhika.

"I work in the same college. But I'm a senior professor now. And I'm a script writer for an english theatre group too... And...."

"And?"

"And I'm married!" Viji blurted out.

"Ooooooh", Radhika crooned.

"Vir is a stage play director. He's a darling... And u know what? He really seems like a protagonist from Shakespeare's books."

"Haha.." U always have this thing for Mr.Shakespeare, don't u?"

So the two old pals chatted on...They had so much to share and talk about (like all women). So let's not bother following their conversation further... But it was a fairy tale ending :) Radhika and Viji lived happily ever after...

---------------------- THE END ---------------------

A teacher who dint want to be a teacher PART-2

2009-10-21T12:40:00.000-07:00

Don't read this if u haven't read PART-1

"This is a kismet connection", Ms.Viji suddenly said!

"What?"

"You have no idea, Radhika.. But I think you and I are connected in a deep way. We were destined to meet and talk"

"What are you telling,Ms.Viji? I don't understand.."

"U said dance was once your passion,dint u? Do u know what my passion was?" asked Ms.Viji.

"Er.. teaching?"

"Of course, U r right Radhika! I loved teaching.. And I still do... The sense of satisfaction you get when someone listens and understands what U r coming to say is something unfathomable! You may think becoming a teacher was such a simple ambition.. But there was a lot more to it ..

And Radhika now listened as Ms.Viji started narrating her story-

"As an eldest of the three children in my family, I got used to helping my brothers with their homework at an age of seven. My happiest moments were when they scored high marks in their exams.. I always smiled my proud smile and patted them on their backs. It was then that I decided I had to become a teacher!

" When U have ambitions, U always have hurdles to cross and dilemmas to face. No matter how small or big ur dream is, You'll always have to deal with obstacles. Some of them will even make U forget U had an ambition in the 1st place. . . I understood this and decided not to let anything come between my dream and I."

" But I fell in love, radhika . . Just like you. . ! I fell in love with my college classmate, Arvindh. We were doing our 2nd year in English-literature then.
Those days were so dream-like, like in movies. We constantly exchanged letters, had dinners together and he wrote poems like no one else! He once said - "Without you, I can survive. But only with you, I can live my life, princess..". Aren't those words so beautiful? I can never forget them in my life.

Arvindh was a basketball player. He was representing the state and was already playing national tournaments.. He hardly attended college, but yet, he made it a point to meet me everyday. In empty street corners, pubs, under the college tree, library and sometimes at my own house!
I loved Shakespeare's 'Romeo and Juliet' because of him. On one of my birthdays, he came home with a bunch of flowers at 12 in the night, stood under the balcony and quoted Shakespeare's dialogues..!"

" I can keep talking about him for ages, Radhika. . .because he's the only man I've ever loved! But the point is- I dint marry him! We parted ways.. And I haven't seen him for 10 years now!"

"Oh god!", spluttered Radhika "why dint U? what happened?"

"He was a basketball player.. He was always travelling. And if I married him, I was supposed to accompany him on his trips too. When U r a sportsman's wife, it is something obligatory. U must travel along with him everywhere...!

But I told him about my dream of becoming a teacher and creating a niche for myself. I told him that it was a passion I cherished all my life; And that I can't keep traveling.!

So that's how it ended. He couldn't give up his passion and I couldn't give up mine! Sort of a clash of passions,ain't it? But we were quite stubborn"

"Now I'm a teacher! But I'm a spinster. I don't have a family of my own. After Arvindh,I couldn't think of anyone else in his place..So I guess I'll die an old maid with a Shakespeare's book in hand"

Radhika couldn't get herself to say anything. So Ms.Viji continued..

"So here am I, a woman who lost her love and her personal life for her passion. And here are you, a woman who's situation is exactly the other way round. In a way, both of us seem to regret our decisions. We look back at old times and wish we had taken the other route, don't we?

It reminds me of the poem-' Road Not Taken' by Robert Frost - 'Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;' "

"Ya, U r right", said Radhika." We are in the same ground, but different sides. Like opposite goal posts, but playing the same game"

"EXACTLY!", said Ms.Viji.

Radhika removed her spectacles and rubbed her eyes. Her usual bland look was surprisingly missing. One could see how much the pair of specs affected her appearance for worse.

"U look wonderful", said Ms.Viji " .Why don't you start dancing again?"

"U look wonderful too", said Radhika ".Why don't you get married?"

There was a silence. And this time, the silence was mutual!

They knew it was not gonna be the same from now. Woman instincts were screaming at them that things were gonna change. . . And they waited in silence. .

GO TO PART-3 (final part)

A Teacher who din't Want to be a TEACHER part-1

2009-10-18T12:36:00.001-07:00

We've all had experiences where we'd have wanted to do something, but ended up doing something else. Like u would have wanted to be a pilot, but by the turn of events, would have become an engineer; or u would have wished to marry the guy/girl, u were in love with. . but finally married an other person arranged by your parents. U wouldn't have had any interest in a particular job, but would have been forced to do it just coz its required of u.

At all these times, whenever people see us do the work without any sign of interest, the advice most commonly given is -accept the change n try to live life, move on, don't fret blah blah n such crap! So we think they r right and try hard to accept what we've got!
But. . Is it the right thing to do? Can we really program ourselves against our basic interests and live a contended life? Will the work we do turn out fruitful?

Radhika wasn't meant to be a teacher.
And a chemistry teacher? No way!
But she became a chemistry teacher. She wore glasses, carried notebooks & answer-papers wherever she went and assumed a highly moody profile, for she thought, that's how teachers were meant to be.

In school, none of Radhika's students thought she was anything of the interesting type. Nor did they pay attention to her boring lectures.
She had a monotonous voice like the clock's ticking, so the students usually had little competitions over who would stay awake the longest in her classes.

Sometimes, sitting in the staff-room with all the answer sheets to be corrected, she wondered how her life would have been if she hadn't graduated in chemistry, if she hadn't closed doors on her passion, and if she hadn't married so soon . . . sometimes it made her gloomy, and at all these times, she ended up venting out all her bottled up frustrations on her poor students; she screamed at them for whispering in class, scratched the notebooks with red ink for shabby handwriting, hit them for hurting each other and on the whole, behaved like an absolutely spoilt teacher!

On one boring Wednesday, Radhika was explaining 'Fractional distillation of coal' to class VIII-B. It was a pretty dull topic. Or at least for her, it was dull... it was chemistry that had made her give up her passion & she hadn't forgotten that! But then, she noticed Anand and Rajiv making notes from what she was teaching. That lightened her mood. She appreciated them n made them class leaders. Though she dint like the subject herself, she liked the students who took interest in it.. Because heart of hearts, she wanted to be a good teacher. . and more than that, a likeable teacher. .

Radhika got reminded of how popular and likeable she had been in her school and college days. . But now, she was an unnoticed and a normal lady whose life was normal in every way. She had a nice husband, a nice kid and a nice job at hand. . "What more could she want?" One might ask . . .but the answer for it, even she couldn't give.

Radhika's basic nature demanded her to be the center of attention. She had to perform and she had to be popular. But being stuck up in a place she didn't expect to, gave her a sickly temperament.

Suddenly, as she was teaching, there was an outburst from the next class, which woke up all the students (and herself) from their half-sleepy state.
Cheers, applause and screams were issuing from there that she sent Rajiv to check what was going on. Rajiv returned a couple of minutes later with an excited face.
"Its English class, ma'm! Viji mam is teaching the new lesson", he told excitedly.
"What? It sounds like circus. Why are they making such a noise if she's just teaching a lesson? I think I'd better go & ask her to control her students."
"Its English class, mam", he repeated as if she hadn't heard him " her classes are fun"
And that did it.
It was like a slap on the face for radhika. She knew her classes were boring. But being informed about the fact by one of her favorite students was too much for her. Coz she was not the type of a woman who accepted her flaws in public. She scowled at Rajiv for a moment and then went back to her reciting.

That evening, as she packed her stuff, she felt weird. She knew something was not right with her. She looked at her appearance in the mirror in the rest room. Her plain eyes behind those hideous spectacles looked back at her. There was no sign of a smile on her face & she looked as dull as ever.
"What the hell has happened to me?" she exclaimed!
She touched her oily face, which had once been so soft and lovely, which had once made dozens of boys come behind her, and which had once won her a college beauty queen title.
"No. This is certainly not I. This is certainly not radhika. I want to be me. I want to be radhika!" she said out aloud!

Just then someone came in. she looked around, embarrassed. It was Ms.Viji
"I thought I heard someone scream here." she said.
"Er.. Well.. That was me, Ms.Viji. A lizard went past. And I'm mighty scared of them, u know.." said radhika.
"A lizard, huh? But I thought I heard someone say-'I want to be me!'.. Was that the lizard, Ms.Radhika?"
"Okay okay. I did scream out of my frustration. Does that bother you?" snapped radhika.
"No. It doesn't." said Ms.Viji "but I just want u to know that if u need someone to talk to, I'm always there, radhika." she added, squeezing Radhika's hand in a friendly way.

Ms.Viji was a kind of teacher who thought of herself as a fairy godmother of everyone. She liked to comfort people around her, lend her shoulders or her handkerchief if anyone was to cry, etc.
And she was a great listener. She understood that if someone is unhappy, it would make them feel better if someone just silently listened to their problems rather than jutting advice at them.
And wherever she went, she had an aura around her, which made people feel relaxed and cheerful in her presence.

So not surprisingly, even radhika succumbed to Ms.Viji talks.. She broke down and confided everything that was bothering her..

"You know Ms.Viji? in my school and college days, I was this very bubbly kind of a girl. It might be hard to believe for you, but I was that way.
I had an irresistible fascination for dancing. There was never a function in my school and college without me dancing in it.
But when the time came when I had to choose my profession, I went along with the herd. My family wasn't so game about me pursuing dance as a career. Besides, I wasn't courageous enough to take a stream that a very few people took. What if I failed? What if I ended up with no opportunities at all? How can I ever be independent if I wanted to? All these questions put me in a trauma. And I finally decided to graduate in chemistry."

" But I was doing quite well in college. I scored good marks and was aiming for a seat in Pittsburgh University to do my post graduation. That way, I thought I would be well qualified to work in a great company and earn dollars."

"But that's when fate took a turn. I fell in love with Kamal, a guy in my neighborhood, and who happened to be a software engineer and also a son of a well-to-do politician. So when Kamal's dad approached my parents for the marriage, they readily agreed, considering Kamal's job and his great family background."
"And I was so much in love, that I dint care about my Pittsburgh dream or doing anything else. So I got married a month after passing out of college and let my ambitions go down the drain."

"The first year of my marriage was great! Kamal was so sweet. I was enjoying being a home-maker, attending to my family and all that.. Then, it began getting on my nerves. This feeling of I'm-nothing-but-a-housewife kept hitting on me.
Kamal said I could apply for the post of a schoolteacher as that was the only post I was qualified enough for. I hated it when he said that. However, I had to agree. I was qualified only for that".

"Now that I'm here, I'm trying to accept what I got, what I chose for myself. Yet, I don't feel comfortable. It's like getting stuck up in a place u don't like. And whenever I try talking to my old friends who are all quite well off now, all they say is "don't keep sulking", "yours is a good life, get used to it", "accept what you've got", etc
Here, nobody recognizes me. i.e. I'm not much of a personality..
I'm dull, my classes are dull and I don't have a single thing that interests me anymore. Maybe I myself don't know what exactly my problem is.
Well.. so that's my story Ms.Viji."

They sat in silence for sometime. Ms.Viji was still squeezing Radhika's hand. "I know exactly how u feel, radhika". she said rather softly. Radhika looked up. There were tears in Ms.Viji eyes. Radhika instantly knew that there was a story behind this woman too. Along with the tears, she could see in her eyes, the emotions and the reminiscences.

Radhika said nothing. Because it was Ms.Viji's turn to talk and she hadn't said anything more than one sentence.

GO TO PART-2

:-(

2009-09-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

Am i lonely? i do not know.. because most of the times when I'm alone, i invariably have something or the other to do. I have this flair for daydreaming which keeps me going!

But on days like this.. when it's raining so beautifully, i wish i could tell someone "wow, isn't that such a lovely day?"

Should i? or Should i not??

2009-09-04T11:58:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here with so many thoughts running across my mind. . should i or should i not post now? should i go to college tomorrow or should i not? should i give it a rest and stay away from my grueling schedule for a while or should i not?

sometimes in life, making decisions for even very simple things can get really tricky.

like if i go don't go to college tomorrow, i could get some rest (and perhaps even lose my dark circles). but what if the class councilors get screwy and make a big deal out of it? bcoz thats what most private engineering colleges usually like doing... and already my attendance is kinda pathetic..

and if i do go to college, I'm not sure if my time spent there would be worthwhile. The so called lecturers with their run-of-the-mill degrees would come and start off their monotonous drone and we'd use all our strengths to keep our eyes open...

sometimes to help myself from falling asleep, i would take a James Hadley Chase book to college and have a good read. Or my friends & i would start rediscovering & playing those old childish games - name place things animals, rajah-rani, hangman, Hollywood, etc etc

do u think this is a sane way of spending 8 hours a day???

if I'm at home, i could do a hundred other useful things, i could blog, read newspapers, books, help mom, do my dance shows, practice, prepare for competitive exams, help my bro with his lessons, etc etc.. the list is endless.

but if I'm at college, all i can do is park my seat on this chair for 8 hours and gaze blank-eyed at the weirdo on the dais.

it's almost 12:30 pm now. the weather is cold and the bedsheets look warm and inviting.. but tomorrow is Saturday and the thought of getting up early n going to college is turning me off... should i vent out my frustrations by writing more.. or should i sleep? should i sleep with my head facing up or sideways? ... should i... or should i not ????

FEAR

2009-08-25T11:24:00.000-07:00

A bad dream,
A horrifying scream
Scared to be awake
I shiver n shake.
Cold night’s air
Eerie insects choir
Nobody near.
Oh.. Thats called fear!

5000ft height,
Vultures in flight.
Mountains all around,
Wind’s melancholy sound.
A bottomless pit
Echoes to hit
I try not to see, I try not to hear.
Gosh, now I know whats fear !

Hospital room
The impending doom.
Beloved in bed,
My eyes that are red.
The heaviness in heart,
Grief to go apart.
Plz don’t go, my dear!
Oh, I’m trembling in fear!

Every direction I see,
I’m scared to be
With fear in heart
& a mind to thwart,
I feel I’m caged
And deeply enraged.

Is there a way to flee from fear?
I ask god with a tear
Yes there is, god says,
A thousand many ways.
The best way for a good life’s scope
Is to have lots and lots of hope..

SWINE FLEW !

2009-08-13T08:42:00.000-07:00

This swine flu is everywhere! cold, cough, sore-throat, fever and headache are the symptoms. But will someone believe me if i say i've been having these all my life? well.. thats upto them, what to believe & what not to believe!

But i tell you, i've been having these symptoms right from the time i realized i exist. So since i'm 19 years old now, i should be given full rights for legal ownership of the disease!
and i seriously object to the name people have decided to call it- SWINE FLU! Bcoz it sounds like swine flew! when have we ever heard of pigs fly??

From time immemorial, human beings have been fascinated by flying. They yearned to be doves & pigeons and thus created aircrafts, helicopters, hot air balloons and parachutes.
But still they haven't gotten over the craze. they want to incorporate flying even in the weirdest life threatening diseases!

Speaking of life threatening, are u wondering how i'm still alive having these symptoms for so many years now? well.. all i can say is that i dunno the reason myself. Probably it's coz the life line on my left palm is pretty long, or maybe because i have a lot more crazy articles to write b4 i fly to heaven.. or perhaps the most likely explanation- i dont have swine flu at all...!

But whatever it is, i'm sorry if i hurt anybody by writing this stupid post. i know i'm not very sympathetic at times. But what i want to tell is- Lets not get over critical about these things and get stressed... as if we don't have enough stress already in our lives. who knows? In days to come, some geek might invent automobiles running on the owner's stress instead of petrol!

Statistically speaking, we actually run the risk of meeting up with a road accident than catching the swine flu! and yet, does everybody follow the rule of wearing helmets on road? No! people of India don't care
Then why do u suddenly find people wearing dust masks and looking like surgeons parading the road?

The answer is familiar- FASCINATION!
Just like fascination for flying, this is fascination for a new hip disease!
AIDS is way too old, SARS is over and gone, CHIKUNGUNIYA is too dumb a name!
but SWINE FLU! wow,wat a cool name!
Surely, we'll wear masks! we won't use condoms; we won't wear helmets; but we'll definitely wear a mask.. bcoz we're protecting ourselves from SwInE fLu!

Soon, swine flu would fly away too.. and we would wait for another eccentric disease to come by and give it another interesting name!
But u know what guys? i still have a little faith in sanity of human beings... atleast for the inevitable fact that i belong to the same species.

So lets not create a pandemonium. Instead, let us see what we can do to prevent other crazy diseases that might invade us in the near future.
1. stop pollution
2. keep global warming in check
3. grow more trees ( atleast as many trees as there r cell-phone towers in the city!)
4. use renewable resources
And do everything else we learnt in our 2 nd std E.V.S classes.

As i complete writing this crap, i sneeze and search around in vain for my handkerchief! And finally after a moment's search, i find it and spend the rest of my day with it..!
i wish i could come out of this leaky nose problem someday.. and i wish the world doesn't catch it from me and name it yeshu flu..

God, save us and bless us!
Let us all lead healthy and happy lives..!

luv,
yeshu :)

2009-07-31T11:09:00.000-07:00

when i logged into my orkut homepage, my fortune displayed was "learn something today!". .and that sounded more like a command than a fortune! It was already 11.00pm and i was wondering what i could possibly learn in an hour; and besides i was feeling sleepy and droopy eyed.

just then my dad dropped into my room. he found some of my english books on the study table and began to reminisce. . he began talking about an old man he once knew who spoke impeccable english, and about his ex ex ex ex chief manager who introduced him to parthasaarathy lectures.. he was talking about various things.. about life, about how fate can be harsh at times, about how each person should live life with a technique,etc
my dad's a spiritual person. and we've had these kind of talks a lot of times.. but today as i was listening to him, i thanked god for helping me learn something so easily... by just listening to him!

i'm just so lucky! i luv my life and this weird wide world!

LUV,
Yeshu :)

For the love of rain!

2009-07-27T09:59:00.000-07:00

It's raining again now. . And since there is nobody else in this room, it's just the both of us here - The sound of raindrops and me !

Actually, the rain now looks as though it's trying to ask me out - " Go out with me and I'll give u a nice bath, dirty girl ! "

I get a bit pissed n tell him that I already had a bath in the morning . .

Rain : "Oh . . U mean 'yesterday morning' ? "

Me : "NOPE ! Today morning ! "

Rain : " How could u do that to me ? What do u see in that lousy water bucket of yours ?"

Me : " Well . . He's there for me when I need him, isn't he ? . . "

Rain : " How unfair ! I am the one who's supposed to have swept u off your feet "

Me : " ya, I remember that . . I had fallen flat into that horrid trench and looked like a wet chicken! "

Rain : "Yeah.. But don't look sulky.. u looked cute with that mud-streamed face ;)"

Me : "Huh?! OK thanks for the flattery! But I'm lucky nobody smelt me... I was stinking."

Rain : "Fine! Enough of yak-yak. Now tell me. Will u go out with me dear? I've come all the way from the sky to meet u.."

Me : "Aw... That's so sweet..! OK I'll come out... But will u promise to come back again tomorrow? I always miss u when u don't return for long periods.."

Rain : "Oh..Er.. u know i can't promise u that.."

Me : "Why???"

Rain : "Because u live in Chennai, sweetheart! People in my place are not very fond of Chennai... why don't u shift to Bangalore or Cochin..? then we can meet more often!"

Me : "What? You want me to leave my birthplace just because u want to date me? Selfish selfish!"

Rain : "Do u love me so less that you wont even shift Ur place for me?"

Me : "DO U LOVE ME SO LESS THAT U WON'T EVEN COME TO CHENNAI FOR ME?"

Rain : "Huh?!!"

Me : "Unable to answer,aren't u? Well... u leave me no choice,rain! I think I've got to go back to my water bucket again for a bath..."

Rain : "Oh no! stop princess.. Don't go! OK u win! I'll come to Chennai for u.. I'll stay by your side. Don't ditch me for that bucket,ok? I love you..."

Me : "Oh that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard.. I love u too rain... and I always will.. :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And now as I come back indoors fresh from all those lovely moments I had with him.. his cold and tingly touch,his divine smell, the exciting sound of his footsteps, his thunder, his music, his lightening.... I know I'm lucky to have him. And i know he'll come back to Chennai again... at least for the sake of giving me a bath ;)

.

HUGS

2009-06-12T12:09:00.000-07:00

There was a time when i was really depressed. . and there was a time when i was very happy. . and what made both these occasions divine were the warm hugs & the pats on my back, i received from people who cared. .

I remember the day i had flunked in one of our class exams.. everyone thought(or maybe, i thought. .) i was a big time loser ! i was angry on myself and sat sorrowfully, thinking how miserable i was. . .it was then that my friend gave me a hug n said everything is gonna be alright soon :)

On another day, just before climbing onto d stage for a cultural event, i saw myself shivering with nervousness . . . what if i trip n fall halfway? what if people laugh at me? what if i make a fool of myself? but she gripped my hand, hugged me n said- 'you r gonna rock, yeshu!'... and i did rock . . maybe i dint win a prize. . but i won a huge applause :)

And on the new year night, when i celebrated with my dance class friends, the clock struck twelve and everyone was out hugging each other and wishing heartily. i felt happy, i felt cared for. .

When u hug someone, u comfort them and relieve them . . enmity vanishes, grudges disappear and love spreads... In an unhappy situation, a new strand of hope starts materializing. . and at a happy jubilant situation, the happiness multi folds..
It just feels really good!

So people, just hug! show that u care. let ur warmth express ur compassion and love.. lets live life in this great way :-)

luv,
yeshu:)

DOES INDIA REALLY DESERVE THOSE OSCARS?

2009-06-04T08:59:00.000-07:00

When I make my daddy proud by winning prizes or scoring good marks in exams, he rewards me with little gifts-like books, clothes etc.
Likewise, when someone makes our country proud, shouldn’t the government do something in return?

Nine-year-old Rubina and Azharuddin, the star kids of ‘Slumdog millionaire’- the film that stole the limelight at the Oscars, are now homeless.

Those little kids might not have realized. But it was their contribution to the film that moved many hearts and helped India bask in the ‘OSCAR glory’. Yet, these kids live on platform!

The movie, being such a huge hit must’ve earned millions. Aren’t those children supposed to be given at least a little something from that?

And what happened to the houses that our government promised them?

In my opinion, this is a form of child exploitation too. The children were made to act. However, they weren’t given their fair share of payment. Besides, this wasn’t just any other award they won. It was the Oscars!

And ironically, the movie portrays the life of slum children..

What use are all these Oscars when people are not sympathetic to the very movie’s own actors? What use are those laurels brought to the country, when it does not care for the ones who contributed for it?

HOW COULD ARCHIE DITCH BETTY?

2009-05-28T09:44:00.000-07:00

Archie Andrews has decided to marry Veronica Lodge! the dilemma he was in, has finally come to an end. And he has chosen Veronica lodge over Betty cooper :( :(

This is so bad... How can he ever do this? wasn't Betty so kind, so loyal and so loving towards Archie? and finally, it's being rich and vain that matters.

i've always thought archie was a sort of a dim-wit. he's proved it now!
Whoever's writing this series, ie whoever took this decision of getting archie and ronnie together,- i pronounce u lousy losers!

but maybe it's good for betty in a way! Coz she might find someone else who would care more for her.. some one who appreciates her better for what she is..!

anyways, i sort of knew this was going to be betty's fate... coz.. i've always thought betty was like me :( ;)

and read this stuff! it's interesting - http://www.loonyblog.net/2004/09/03/the-greatest-archie-story-ever-told

get ready to get a piece of my mind!

2009-05-03T10:19:00.000-07:00

one old man doesn't like me learning dance! and he has gone about poisoning other people's minds too.
i dint think i would have so much of opposition when i 1st joined the class. i thought my own inhibitions and shyness were the only obstacles! but now when i've gotten over that, there r other problems coming from various directions to stop me from doing something i like!

perhaps this is what they call 'the divine test'.. when i look at it that way, it's quite exciting. trying to conquer my fears, thinking of ways to solve problems coming in my way, making my own decisions, managing time and not giving up my passion on any case.

as long as i know what I'm doing, i don't think my future is at stake just because I'm learning dance! but there r chances that i might get depressed and ruin my life if i stop pursuing my passion just because a few old loons think it's not nice

so let me make my motives clear.
i learn dance because-
1) i like it.
2) i cant dance when I'm an old prune with a walking stick.
3) it relieves me from the monotony of my college life.
4) i earn a little pocket money.
5) my social circle thinks highly of me.

this and much much more! well.. so i don't care about what others think or what opinions they patronize. all I'm worried about is how I'm gonna do everything that i wanna do in my life. if someone doesn't feel good about this, or if they want to give me a sermon or something, then get ready to get a piece of my mind!

IcE cReAm MaNiA !

2009-04-26T09:54:00.000-07:00

It's the last week of April. it's scorching hot. university exams are nearing. AND I CAN'T STAY AWAY FROM ICE CREAMS !!
i dunno how i got into this sudden addiction. I'm spending all my money on ice-creams!
i'm eating everything from roadside kulfis, chocobars and orange sticks to expensive sundaes and whole family packs! it wasn't until today afternoon when i looked into my purse did i realize I'd been devouring like a maniac!

and my dad says i croak like hell every night!
its not that i've swallowed a frog or anything... its just that the inside of my throat itches and i make a sound like I'm croaking!
i know it's because of the great ice cream eating spree, I'm in. but i cant help it! :(

when one part of the country is biting its head off with the coming elections, one part excitedly praying for its favorite cricket team to win in d IPL matches, and one tiny part consisting of engineering students busy preparing for university exams , here is great yeshwanti worrying over ice creams and sundaes..!

well.. thatz me ;)

k c ya!
have a gr8 summer!
luv,
yeshu :)

MM3

2009-04-13T12:04:00.000-07:00

U must’ve seen or heard of this popular dance show-Manada mayilada 3 on kalaignar TV!

Though I don’t watch TV much, this show is special coz Nivas sir is dancing in it!
My friends and I had our first western dance lessons from him.. and those days were so much fun!

I remember how at our first class, we looked more like a bunch of let-loose gorillas trying to dance. But he fixed us!
We had hours of strenuous warm ups, crunches, back stretching, upside-down posing, and of course dancing! :) ;) Hehe.. n doing it with d nutty friends of mine, it was damn crazy.. but gr8!

So I kind of took to watching this show regularly.. it’s good. They bring in a new theme every week n the competition is stiff. And Nivas sir is at his personal best!
but the turn offs come when the judges yak yak for more than a few minutes. Hehe… but that’s typical of a reality show.

but the favoritism and the prejudices that exist here is what irks me… the judges are a lot partial… have soft-spots for a certain dancers & choreographers.

So it looks like, the contestants who don’t have much support from the judges can only rely on a really big difference in d number of votes!

So anyways, I’m gonna vote for Nivas-Krithika pair! Not because he was my instructor, but because he’s an awesome dancer out there working hard to realise his dreams!

cheers

yeshu

p.s - as my blog readers, u too vote for them :)

Mom, u rock!

2009-03-28T09:36:00.000-07:00

if we have too much of something in life, we take it for granted.. take the education for example. we do know we're having something that so many children only dream about.. but yet,most of us don't acknowledge it.
and our mother's conditional love... how many of us sit and thank her for what she's doing for us besides giving us our lives?

We might feel depressed and unloved if our friends ignore us, professor snubs us, or bf/gf dumps us or something.. but even at all these time, some people always love us .. mother, father,brother.. they are all there pampering us, and caring for us always... but do we acknowledge that? do we go to our moms, hug her & say-"i luv u"? well.. she might think we've gone gaga.. but yet...

And thats why this post is dedicated to my mother- the most wonderful woman in my life.

she wakes me up everyday, packs my lunch, shouts at me for my untidiness, bickers at me etc etc. . But she's the only person who tolerates my deep rooted lethargy, insensitiveness and still loves me.... you are the best in the world, mom! luv u! :)

Do u know how to sweet talk?

2009-03-14T11:01:00.000-07:00

There's something about people who can talk . . . i mean people who can talk their way out of any tight spot. we sit there, wondering how to go about the arisen trouble when the "talkers" emerge, fiddle the authorities with their sweet talk and get their way!

There is this guy in my class who never cares. . be it the bugging assignments, headache giving exams, hard-to-please professors, long boring class hours or the petty student fights. . . nothing ever bothers him. .bcoz he's never affected by it in d first place.

Like all of us, he too never finishes his assignments and sucks big time at exams.. but the thing is, the way he talks and associates with people attracts everybody... the minute any professor starts scolding him, he gives them a smile and a silly comment to go with it, and everyone are on his side again. . . he gets past everything, escapes all trouble & is always smiling. . . he's got "the thing" to talk.. and that unusual talent smooths his life, too!

I wish i could be more like him! !
what do i do when someone scolds or snubs me??? i let the words seep into me n hurt me, i scowl at them or talk back in an equally annoying tone , or i stand glum with a bum face & not speak up.
And slowly, i become the target for snubbing. if someone is interested in a heated argument, they know I'm available. if someone's mouth feels unused for a long time, the can have a go at me for a while. . . coz they know I'm lousy at reacting to all these situations..

Sweet talking is a boon for some people. but its not that u cant cultivate it.. its all about being clever, being bold and having less inhibitions. . . and of course u've gotta be cunning too.
and who knows? maybe i can be a sweet talker after all. . . maybe i can take tips from this guy!

oh Yeshu ! The things u do to survive in this college. . .!

THE GIFT

2009-02-24T08:34:00.000-08:00

The gift was simple.
a small ballerina doll looking sideways with its ethereal eyes. Standing on it's little ceramic platform, apparently lost in thought, the ballerina evokes a strange feeling in me whenever i look at it..

I like to think of how the little ballerina doll came to me. how my most beloved friend gifted it to me and how happy i was to take it. .

When i look into it's lost eyes and gaze into it's tranquility, the inner peace i experience is so unexplainable.

There are so many emotions attached with it and so many memories come flooding back. . of those happy times, sad times. . . But yet, the ballerina looks as if nothing has changed. . and as if everything is at peace like itself. .

The magical gift will always remain the most beautiful thing I've ever got. . with it's unspeaking ceramic soul always filling me with relief, with peace, with love. .

TOTALLY BUGGING !

2009-02-02T08:45:00.000-08:00

right now, i'm bugged!
dunno why, but i'm so irritable ! or maybe i do know. . Today is not my day ! i got roasted in d sun, got pissed off by my so called friends, my favourite dish was all over B4 i had my fill, now the web pages dont open properly, and mosquitoes are just not quitting me !

i'm so damn bugged that i wanna kick anyone who annoys me, so hard, that they land straight into the drainage !

morning, i went to get this driving licence learners permit . . and that fellow asked me to come again in d sun tomorrow!damn him! And then, i went enquiring abt CAT entrance classes in TIME centre n that lady was talkin such rubbish that i felt like plastering her mouth tight!
Then, these buddies of mine want ideas for bday surprises 4 forthcoming bday babies. Funny, how they always remember this feb month alone... maybe i'm not that much of buddy 2 anyone.. dunno! and ppl at home have such dry sense of humour that it annoys rather than amuse.

k good night! hope this bugging day ends! hope there r no bugs on my bed! oh, i'm going berserk!

The BLUFF !

2009-01-31T07:51:00.000-08:00

Today was a big comedy !
i was supposed to have Salsa class at 4.00pm today. . but i had this college functioning for d whole day . . !
So i made up a story saying- the famous Mandolin Srinivas was coming to my house at 4 and that i wanted half a day off. . these ppl believed my story and let me go !

but after climbing onto d bus, prarthana messaged me saying the class is canceled as Mani sir was not in town ! Grrrr . . i thought of all the acting i did n the realistic story i created. . all for nothing !

anyways, such things happen once in a while in life . . :-) atleast my bluff worked !
i came home and had a nice little nap. . i guess that'll take care of my dark circles. . hehe ;)

so, that was a weird day. .
anyways, c ya :-) bye

luv,
yeshu

Happy bday yeshu :-)

2009-01-22T08:28:00.000-08:00

tomorrow is my bday :-) and i'm very excited, dunno why ! i guess i'm gonna be an year older . . 19, to be precise. . but somehow, i dont feel like a big girl at all :-) i feel as if this birthday is makin me a year younger, actually !

there are so many people i would like to be with, tmw . . family, friends,dance class . . i was pondering over this for a long time. . n finally decided that there is no better place to be tmw than my home ! :-)

and you know wats first on my wish list? wat i wud luv from my ppl? . . a warm hug, a cute handshake n the words "happy bday, buddy!" :-)

luv,
yeshu :-)

Hi ! wish u all a happy 2009 !

2008-12-31T00:20:00.000-08:00

Finally, its d final day of 2008 ! :-)

I cant believe one whole year is over . . coz this year has been so memorable . . I had fun, learnt a lot of things and had so many new experiences.

2008 started me off as a writer, a dancer, a performer, and an individual who knows that in life, we have to move on . .

I now know how it feels like..to be betrayed by a loved one, to flunk in an exam, to win applause on stage, to earn my own money, to be admired, to get embarrassed in public, to be envied and to be cared for. .

This year taught me to never play with people’s emotions , and to never keep lamenting about my problems. .

I thank my wonderful parents n my bro sai for always being so supportive all thru d year. . and my friends, my biggest assets.

I believe that with confidence, planning n hardwork, success comes ur way . . and I also believe long posts are a big bore...;) hehe so, I’ll end it.

so welcome, 2009 :-) lets get going together !

Happy new year to everyone !

Cheers !

Yeshu :-)

HiP HoP HoLs :-)

2008-12-19T09:27:00.000-08:00

People say dancing is the language of our soul . . and i think its very true. . bcoz i cant explain how very euphoric i feel when i shake my legs for a beat..
when my semester holidays started with heavy rains and i was stuck up in my house, i thought the holidays were gonna be rather dull . . but imagine my surprise when Liz mam called and offered me an opportunity to do a dance show ! wooooh ! :-) :-)

so of course, naturally, i agreed !
the show was gonna be held in Coimbatore . . we had hectic practice sessions.. so i was lyk dancing dancing all the time;) but it was great fun. i was enjoying all along & never thot it was tiring... the team consisted of mani sir, prarthana, francis, gangesh, rajesh, preenu and me :-)
all of them are awesome dancers. . professionals ! and dancing with them felt so gr8 :)
it was an inauguration ceremony and we danced with serial artists in the lead - there was suji bala, kavi and tinku (tinku sir).

so finally, my holidays were not a big bore, after all. . :) in fact, i even managed to read two awesome books - the 3 mistakes of my life by chetan bhagat & hit and run by James hadley chase !
and u dunno how crazy i felt after while readin 3 mistakes. . the book was simply superb. chethan bhagat is such a great dude !

i still have two more weeks of holidays left . . (heavenly days) . . coz college reopens only on january 5th . . and i vow to do a lot more great things and make the vacation really memorable . . just like my last summer vacation :-)

every day happy day :-) :-)

cheers,
yeshu :-)

RAINS & POWER CUTS . .

2008-11-29T09:02:00.000-08:00

hi !

my family and i led a cave-man life, the past 2 days . . coz there was no power due to heavy rains, our flats was stagnated with water upto knee level, no newspaper, no milk, no tv, no mobile and we cudnt move out of the house as the roads were flooded. . !

And in d nights, we ate our dinners in candle-lights ..and became gr8 hosts for mosquitoes ! And wat more? we had frogs croaking n singing for us all night . . !

these two days without electricity was maddening ! and i realized how much our lives depend on it & how difficult it is without it . . !

anyways, now that the power is back, my sans-power experience is finally over . . . and now i could get a good night's sleep :-)

so BYE. GOOD NIGHT. .SLEEP TIGHT :-)

CYCLONES & TERRORISTS . .

2008-11-27T09:24:00.000-08:00

So, nisha has hit chennai . . and its on a roll ! coz its been raining steadily for the past few days . . . but i kinda enjoy this kind of climate. . coz usually, it hardly rains in chennai. . and even if it does, it hurries away as soon as possible . . .

strange how these ppl give funny names for cyclones. . katrina, narkiz. . and now, its "nisha" here in chennai . . . maybe next time, i shud recommend my name. . . then the headlines wud be " YESHWANTI HITS CHENNAI BIG TIME. . ! " hehe . . that sounds cool, doesnt it ?

well. . but i cant hit chennai . . maybe i can hit my brother . . but hitting chennai is a bit far fetched . . coz chennai really rocks ! and this time, thanx to nisha, the tamilnadu govt announced leave for all schools n colleges and even postponed the rest of our semeste exams to mid december ! so that means vacation till then :-) yay !

but, hey wait ! i cant be so happy now. . coz these asshole terrorists are killing people in Mumbai . . and most of the terrorists seem to be teenagers like us . . . dunno how their minds can go berserk sometimes !

how can someone with a sane mind just go about shooting down innocent people ? i'll define terrorists are ppl with serious mental instabilites. . or in other words, "CRACKPOTS" !

And as Dalai lama (i think so. . or maybe his disciple) said, "terrorists are insecure people who create insecurities in others" .

Let us pray for all those innocent souls that were lost in this attack . . and let us vow never to become (nor let our descendents become) like those horrid terrorists . . ! let us love one another and live peacefully . . !

bday bday bday

2008-11-01T12:17:00.000-07:00

It was this git's bday today & I pepped up n stayed awake till 12 to wish. . . !
coz I luv wishing people on their b'days . . . especially when I think how glad they'll be to have a friend like me ! . . someone who cares 2 remember birthdays !

But this weirdo had dozed off, never picked up d phone & dint even acknowledge. . until i called again later !
strange, how there r some sweet ppl who dont fancy being wished on their bdays..!

Anyways, I'm not that 'strange kind' :-) . . . I totally luv being wished on my bday ! :-)
coz it's a gr8 feeling when u know so many ppl remember u & care 2 wish u !
so, dear everyone, my bday falls on January 23rd . . hehe . .jus lettin u know ;-)

We all work hard (or at least try to) to get noticed & remain a step higher than others . . . thatz what we all aim for . . .! So why ignore that One day when you r the special one ?
definitely, I wouldn't :-)

waiting 4 birthdays,
luv,
yeshu :-)

2008-10-28T11:20:00.001-07:00

Today, i woke up in the morning to find that it was actually AFTERNOON !
Everyone at home was casting annoyed glances at me as i walked towards d wash basin to brush !
As i looked up at my mom from d corner of my eye, i knew i had some gr8 blasting waiting for me !
"Good MORNING", she said ! But then, fortunately for me, my mom's attention was drawm to my brother who wanted to go out n play . . So without uttering another word, i joined everyone for lunch . . !

All i did today was watch "The Incredibles" on jetix channel. . . Coz b4 i cud realize, it was evening and then i had to study something 4 d exam(or at least try to. .)
Then, someone sent a msg asking "how was the day" . . I had nothing to reply. . coz I had done nothing !
the thing is, I was up very late the previous night . . till 2 or something . . .

I sat on the couch n thot of what wud happen if I spend each day wasting away like this. . . Gosh it gave me creeps n made me shudder !

So i better go n get some sleep now . . . I don't want another wasteful day !
So bye. . Good night, sweet dreams. .

LUV,
yeshu :-)

HAPPY DIWALI !!

2008-10-25T11:57:00.000-07:00

Day after 2moro is diwali !
And things r of course very lively around here . . . mom is makin murukus n laddus, sai is busy buying n showing off his stuff 2 his friends..., 'advance happy diwali' wishes r flooding my mobile, tv programs are getting really interesting, everyone looks glittery -glittery already, and der r ppl in my flats bursting crackers even at midnight (who cares abt d rules, anyway?),

all this celebration gets me in no mood to study . . ! with the university exams round d corner, i have a great deal of stuff to study . . . but just looking at the pile of books on my table turns me off !
with that irresistible aroma continuously emanating from d kitchen, the distant sound of crackers coming thru d closed windows, and the thoughts of all those new dresses i wud be wearing on 27th n looking gr8 . . with these things, its impossible 2 sit with ur books open !

Anyways, diwali is a festival of lights . . it's on this day that lord krishna defeated kamsa and lord rama retuned to ayodhya with sita after defeating ravana. . . ! The day is signifiant of destroying evil, and starting a fresh peaceful life .
darkness sybolizes ignorance, and light is a metaphor for knowledge . . so we light lamps & sparkle up the sky . . . ie destroy the dark things in us ( like wickedness, violence, lust, anger, envy, greed, worry, fear, injustice, and suffering) and develop ourselves in a good way with full of positive energies in & around us !

so maybe i should stop worrying now . . . coz worrying gives out negative energies !
This "oh, i'm not studying" thoughts will take me nowhere !
u know wat guys ? i've got an idea ! what if i just dont worry about any bad things (like my exams, for eg) and go on & enjoy d day with everyone ?
Probably with luck, i myt even destroy the bad beings in me like 'laziness' n 'introvertedness' n start afresh . . . coz with confidence, planning & hardwork, success comes our way !

so lets start afresh, everbody !
wish u a HaPpY dIwAlI ! :-)
Cheers,
yeshu :-)

Getting jealous , am i ?

2008-09-17T09:51:00.001-07:00

I never used to get jealous or possessive . . coz I knew my life was perfect !
But now I’m afraid I’m gonna be a perfect personification of these two emotions !
I don’t remember when exactly I came to be this way . . . but when I realise that ppl close to me r close to other ppl too . . I feel tooo odd n it kinda eats my insides out !

And the things I do when I get jealous ! gosh ! imajine. . . sulking for days together, sarcastic remarks , sleeping at ridiculous hours. . . . and ultimately end up making d person in question totally irritated !

My only consolation to dis prob is the fact that I’m not the only one who’s jealous in this world . . I’m sure all my fela ppl wud agree wimme . . . . but, not that it wud help me, anyway . .

So whenever I am sane , like today for example . . . I wanna write something like this and let ppl kno that I always luv them . . be it my friends, relatives or anyone . . I luv u all n will be der for u . . . even if I crack my head or go gaga over things as silly as *!$@^ . . well. . u know wat. . . !
Anyways, thanx everyone. . for putting up wid me :-) :-)

Cheers,
yeshu

RAIN ON 27th July 2008

2008-08-22T23:25:00.000-07:00

Today, there was a beautiful shower . . . and everything around my house looked so pleasant. . ! The plants, the creepers, the wet compound walls, the ground . . . everything looked so happy and beautiful in the rain!

The smell of wet mud was so enchanting that I had to step out of the house to enjoy it. The tiny little drops fell on my face, and I felt as if they were playing with me. . So I enthusiastically joined them & started playing – I jumped, hopped, splashed the puddles and let those little droplets completely drench me.

Then there was this mild breeze & I felt cold. . My hair & my clothes were very wet and tiny water droplets were dripping from its ends. The rain slowed down. . But dint stop. It was there to play with me, bless me and make me forget all my worries and anxieties for a few moments. . ! So I was there-out in the open with no mind to come back indoors!

There is one kind of music that I love and would do anything for – it’s the sound of rain drops, mild breeze and tiny thunder drum beats . . . today, it was all there and I felt like dancing! It was so divine. . !

So, after having all the fun, I came back indoors dripping. . and examined myself in the mirror! I might have looked like a wet duck to anyone. . But I felt I looked cool and took a picture of myself to remember this wonderful day. .

I sat next to the window, drinking hot coffee & thinking about all those maths assignments I had to do and all those exams I had to study for . . . there was a lot of work, a lot of stress, but very little time! One part of my mind was bickering at me to go back & bury myself inside the college books. . And the other part wanted me to enjoy the divine smell, the mystic music of rain & the ethereal climate. .

I thought of the beautiful rain, and I thought of failing in exams, getting embarrassed and staying back in college for extra classes. . ! Finally, I made up my mind. . I went to the door, thanked rain for those unforgettable moments and said goodbye. . .

EmBaRrAsSmEnT . . UGGH !

2008-08-03T08:06:00.000-07:00

Do everyone of u know how it feels like to be utterly embarrassed ? Have u ever felt yourself wishing that u dint exist, rather than being in that situation?
Well, if u have, then welcome to the club !! Coz today, I had the most embarrassing moment, ever ! . . If I dint know what being embarrassed was; now I’m a master of it !

I’ll tell u what happened,. . . . And if u wanna laugh, then plz go ahead. . . coz I already had the whole world laughing at me, & u won’t make any difference !
It was a jolly good situation in our dance class, when there was one wide legged move & a funny sound , and I realized it was my dress, which was tearing !
Panic & embarrassment gripped me . . my heart was beating unusually fast . . and I just ran back home, right away !
But, master was very understanding. . I admire him for that!. . . anyways, lets not get drifted away . . . My point is – is it necessary to flip our lids when we get embarrassed ? Can’t things be tackled by keeping cool ?

I think, by getting tensed and letting our minds go haywire, nothing can be changed . . . coz what has happened has of course happened . . . and no matter how much we try, cannot be changed !
One has to experience all kinds of emotions in life. . to get maturity and reach the higher state. . Thatz how d nature works ! So I’m happy, my embarrassing experience is over & I even got over its after-effects!

And as a matter of fact, I was not alone ! There were millions of people getting embarrassed in their own way, all over the world at the same time !
So dear embarrassment, I love u ! And I’m glad you are done with me ! . . Now plz give my friends at dance class, a chance too . . .I want them to experience the same happy feeling ;-)

It's funny,i get irritated . .

2008-04-28T10:03:00.000-07:00

For the past few days, i'm increasingly throwing temper tantrums all around the house . .

And my dad, mom n bro are becoming more n more irritating . . . . and, i feel like giving my idiot brother some sound beating on his back !

Getting irritated really irritates me . . but people around me always find it funny !
dad secretly giggles when i flip my lid . . . and my friends think it's one of my comedy acts, again !

i just wanna know why i'm not getting the attention one is supposed to get when one is irritated !

i've heard of kids getting pampered n parents cooing over them. . . to get them bak to normal state . . . but it has never happened in my case :-(

anyways,. . . i guess some things are meant to be like that . . . . just like how rajnikanth cannot make a movie without punch dialogues , and just like how my grandma cant spend a day without watching tv serials . . . . i think i cant get irritated without making anyone laugh . . . :-) hehe . .thatz me . . :-)

luv,
yeshu

Buddies in life . .

2008-04-20T11:30:00.000-07:00

i have a lotta frnds everywhere . . . !

Everyone loves spendin time with frnds ; And i'm no exception either . . .
We meet up in many places n have fun in many ways . . . but above all, the "being together" thing is what matters most . . .
When we feel bugged or if life's not just going the way we want it to , the thing that helps us feel better is spendin time with frnds !

so,dear friends, this post is dedicated to all of you . . . for being with me all the time and helping me live my life with a smile . . .

U must've all heard of the YDMK party . . ! if u havent, it's time u knew it . . .
Y-yeshwanti
D-divya
M-mahalakshmi
K-kavinaya
the party consists of the four of us ! y-yeshu, thats me . . ! D-divya , my ever bubbly, cute smilin frnd . . .! M-maha, my supportive , at times nerdy n sweet frnd . . .! and K-kavi, my understanding, popular n gr8 frnd !

we have so much fun whenever we're together and always have tons of things to talk about . . . In school days, we had secret terrace parties,strange black magic games, crazy sessions , picnics , JAM , last bench chats , etc etc . . .and we decided we needed a name and we wud stay in touch forever . . . . and thus, came "the YDMK party " !

And i have a hang-out gang . . . .in 12th we used to hang out at tution classes . . . i kno that sounds weird . . . but that was when we realised how nice being together, sharing things n having fun was . . . !

Bhari, L.D, resha, vaishu , maha . . . love u all frnds ! i'm sure we'll always be together . . no matter what !

And then, Arjun, my very close frnd ! nice to have someone to whom u can talk to n hear some advice at the end of the day ! thanx arj , for being a gr8 frnd all along ! miss u loads !

Now that i've joined college, i have frnds here too . . . kaushalya (or sivagami) , my best buddy . . . we r always chattering n always together . . .n she's one of the reasons college is fun . . ! i'm glad i met u, siva . . .

then sindhuja, jeevitha, vidhya, shahina, vaishali, jayashree,meher,divakar,jayanth ie . .cheenu :-) ,etc etc . .

and to all my dear frnds whom i've met so far . . . and the ones i'm yet to meet . .,

luv u all :-)

cheers,
yeshu :-)

GOOD ? BAD ?

2008-04-19T10:49:00.000-07:00

Today, i had my university practical exam in college . . . and it was pretty good !
i was lucky enough to get all the easy experiments !
But yesterday was a terrible day .... i had to starve n get roasted before gettin my record signed by those cracked teachers !

And u know wat i learnt from this ? . . . that life is a cycle and that every dog has his day !
I've realised that if we have a bad time on one day, you'll definitely have a good time another day !
So dont sulk on bad days and be glad for the good days . . .

I know this post is something you would all call " mokkai " . . . but cant help it coz i do become a monk sometimes . . .

Well . . talkin abt monks , i remember one of my very good frnds whoz called THE MONK !!
as for why he's called that , i dunno . . and i forget to ask each time . . . . but i guess its because he sings well & has d potentials to bcum a monk . . . or maybe because he commented on some Old Monk add . . . or maybe he acted like a Monkey someday , or maybe he forgot his 'keys' on a 'monday'
Ok fine . . i know, i know this is one lousy interpretation . . . but just like i said, there r good posts as well as bad posts in my blog . . . . and u have to read them ... coz u need to practise living life this way. . with good & evil co-existing. ....

k byee. . . sweet dreamzz . .

MY BEDDIE . . .

2008-04-12T10:34:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to my cot !
i'm so proud of my cot bcoz it's being passed on for generations . . . from my dad's grandparents . . . the cot has been with me for almost 8 years, now ..., and i was taking it for granted all the time!
it was not until i visited my aunt's place for a night and couldnt get any sleep, that i realised how much i missed my bed . .

my bed has tolerated many things i've done . . . . i dont remember how many times i wud've poured bournvita and horlicks on it . . . (must be thousands ...! ) . . and how i used to dump all my books and junk on it and not bother . . .and how mom used to scold me for it . . .
but my bed still gave me good sleep n sweet dreams . . .

i've been on it most of the nights . . ( sometimes days too..) happy nights , sad nights , exam nights, peaceful nights , tired nights, mobile phone nights . . all on my chweet cot . . .
and there r things lyk vicks vaporub , chocolate wrappers, comic books, clips , mobile cover ,etc always found under the pillow. . . .

but though it's a mini junk yard in appearance , i still love it and think it's the cosiest place on earth . . .

ok, so i'm feelin sleepy, now . . . ! and beddie, here i come . . !

good night, sweet dreams....

yeshu

COLLEGE !

2008-03-20T08:55:00.000-07:00

Now, this post is dedicated to my college . . . especially my class people . . .

my exams r coming up next month & i cant believe i'm almost getting into my 2nd year in this silly place . . . .but sometimes . . .in some unusual moods, i do feel my class is kinda cool. . . .

coz... there's kaushalya with whom i can talk nonstop thru all the boring classes . . . .

there's an SfM teacher transported halfway frm a comedy show,

there's this funny roll no.4 who acts silly n makes ppl giggle once in a while . . .

and there r quite good companions , each of a different kind . . .

Things that i once felt were so repulsive r now getting to be rather amusing . . .

take the co-ordinator for example . . . i hated him in the beginning for his egoistic stupidity . . .

the way he walks across the corridoors , n the way he speaks to students and his terribly annoying attendance rules . . . these things just made me loath the college . .

but now, it's different . . . coz my frnds and I comment on every move he makes . . . he's some kind of a hippo walking on its hind legs and talking some language which he calls english !

In any other college, a holiday might not mean anything to u . . . but in jaya engineering college, u can discover the real pleasures of having a holiday ! A day off from college is like some festival . . . and i get to have a festival every week ! . . . cool, is'nt it ?

And then . . . ya how cud i forget the class councillor ? . . our godfather . . . as for why he got this name , i'm not gonna reveal ... coz i owe him a lot for making me pass in one of his exams . . . !

but then, he resigned from the post of our class councillor midway , and our maths ma'am replaced him. . . and gosh , she's one real big flirty teacher . . . always standing by the guys benches and blushing uncontrollably . . . !

anyways, forget that . . . . i'm feeling sleepy now, so i guess i've gotta end this post . . .

all i wanna say is that i've learnt to adapt myself to some place i couldnt stand ,

there r times in life when u've gotta make choices . . . and they'll be responsible 4 ur happiness . .

when i joined this coll, i had two choices . . . either i could keep sulking all four years . . or i could look at the positive sides n adapt myself . . . . and i chose the later . . ,

hope everythin goes on well . . .

keep smilin . . .

yours,

yeshu

CUP IN HANDS !

2008-02-29T08:22:00.000-08:00

YAY ! YAHOO . . ! today i won 2 cups in a chemistry symposium . . . !!

i owe one of my cups to "FIRE" . . . coz thats wat i was asked to speak about for a minute . . . ; and Dear fire, u did'nt let me down. . thanx . . !

And the other cup is a little one . . . (3rd prize) . . and i owe it to d teacher who pronounced the question wrongly . . ! coz otherwise, i wud have ended up with a bigger cup . . . thanx ma'am !

And one by one, all my friends asked me for a treat . . . . some 46 of them . . . and after listening to all of them , i wanted to have a treat too . . . so i came home & made mommy take me to the ice cream parlour . .

And then, i told mommy, i wanted paani poori & i had to eat it now ! . . . and so, we bought home a paani poori parcel from YESYES supermarket !
but imajine my frustration , that man had packed only a spoonful of masala for 8 little poori's . . . and the paani smelt like drainage water !
this is the 2nd time that stupid YESYES supermarket is rising my temper . . !

last time, when i went there , the security insisted that i leave my umbrella with him b4 going inside . . . . and, when i returned, that oldie man had forgotten all about my umbrella . . . . and i went back home empty handed !

i'm never gonna visit this YESYES supermarket hereafter . . . even though it contains 1st 3 letters of my name . . !

but cant help it . . . . everyone with a part of my name cant be as intelligent as me . . !

ok, . . mommy's calling me 4 dinner , byee good night .. ..

stars

2008-01-05T09:01:00.000-08:00

When i was a kid, i used to look up at those tiny twinkling things in the sky, and sing ' twinkle twinkle little star ' and wonder what they are . . . . ! mom used to stand beside me ( ..mostly to distract n feed me ..) n tell me good old stories . . .

And those beautiful stars always kept coming here n there in my life . . . .
in school, whenever my handwriting was good, my teacher used to draw 'cute stars' in my book . . , during christmas, i hung a' red star' at the verandah ..., whenever i wanted to watch cartoon, someone would always be watching 'star tv' . . , i liked 'super star' rajnikanth..., i had a frock with 'stars' on it, and i ate 'star cakes' n star idlies . . .

But now, so many years have passed . . and i dont even spare some little time to watch those little stars. . . ofcourse, it might not be an important thing to do . . . but it definitely makes u relax n think about anything without stress . . .

i was taking a stroll outside my apartments the other night after a heavy dinner .... and watching the stars . . . and guess what happnd ? . . . i heard a thunder . . . n there came this lovely cold breeze . . . the trees began swaying , and my hair was all flying . . . . but when i looked up at the stars, they were slowly disappearing . . . . " i asked them why they wanted to leave . . for the weather was so beautiful and the night was so dark and we cud have a nice time together . . " . . the stars said " we're always here , but the clouds want to fall over u right now, so see u next time " . . . .

but the next time never came. . . i had this stupid college, assignments, tests , family, computer, mobile, friends , friends of friends , relatives of relatives etc. . . .

and sometimes, i feel we all need rest . . . ! In the midst of these fast lifestyles , we need quiet moments for ourselves . . . ! perhaps we must take a walk or two at night . . under the stars . . . maybe along with our loved one . . . . and i'm sure there would be many things we might discover . . . wont we ? ;)

LAZZINESS . . .

2007-06-27T12:16:00.000-07:00

My Legs are pretty cold. . . . . the hairs on my hands are rising.. . . . i feel really strange lying on my bed . . . .

i wish there was a fireplace nearby, and i feel a strong urge to switch off the fan . . .

but yet, something stops me. . . . the fan must keep running !! something says i'll have to endure the cold . . . and when heat comes by, i'll have to endure that too . . !!
but i just cant go and switch off the fan . !!

Now, my brain's going berserk ! . . . and . . GOSH , i imajine unthinkable things . . . !
I'M JUMPING FROM A HIGH CLIFF , I'M WALKING STRAIGHT INTO THE FIRE, AND I'M DOWNING IN A TERRIFYING OCEAN . . .
IT'S FREEZING, N I JUST DONT FALL ASLEEP . . . .

I LOOK AT THE FAN . . . IT'S STILL RUNNING IN AN UNIMAJINABLE SPEED. . . . .
I CLOSE MY EYES. . . BUT I DREAM OF THE FAN FALLING ON MY HEAD . . .

I TURN AROUND, I FIDGET, . . . I CALL OUT FOR HELP . . . BUT PEOPLE ARE ASLEEP . . .

it's time i do something out of my way . . .
i push away my blanket, slowly stand up, walk a few steps forward . . . . . . and SWITCH OFF THE FAN . . . .

then everything comes back to normal. . . i come back to bed and sleep soundly. .
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this entry might sound silly to all u people reading my blog. . . . but guys, we've got to contemplate on things ( however silly they might seem ) and think about it deeply before coming to a conclusion . . .

In this post, I've revealed the most darkest side of me. . . . my most dangerous enemy and my dreadful weakness. . . . " MY LAZZINESS "

i always knew this and wanted to tell u . . . . when ur body stops moving, ur mind goes running like a maniac . . . .
when u feel depressed and sit around in a chair doing nothing, . . . believe me, it's gonna be more painful . . . ! so keep yourself engaged. . . . . keep ur mind in control . . . ! if u let it waver, it will never let u be in peace . . .

ok guys, so all of you listen to this little girl . . . stop being lazy and watch ur lives change . . .

i'm gonna change, too . . . i'm planning to become the most hyperctive girl in the town . .

k, c ya soon . .
byeeeee

SWEET SIX TO SWEET SIXTEEN???

2006-06-03T08:40:00.000-07:00

Before i could just realise where i am, .. i've already turned 16 ..... and attending the 12th grade!
Neither me nor my cousins can accept the fact that i've actually grown into a perfect teenager! ..... of course with all the necessary characterstics.....!!
i've always been tiny, little, and innocent.
i guess change is a part of everybody's life.......... but not drastically!!
Nobody can tolerate a young 6 year old suddenly becoming a 16 year old .. CAN THEY?.
But thats whats happening in my case.

My dad never thought our new neighbour occupying the small cottage by the side of the chennai river would be so powerful, .....in fact, he looked like some idiotic slum bugger!! but that was not all,... the slum bugger did seem to possess extremely ridiculous looking stuff!
The slum bugger started working as a gardener ........ but the strange thing is that you dont usually find trees in chennai. but still he worked............. day and night,.... 24 X 7......... whenevr i went out to play, he would be busy working...... during my night walks, hes still working,.....work work work! but what he worked............ god only knew!

Me,.. as a 6 year old kid, never bothered! the only thing i really wanted to do was ... to drive my cycle and get as far as i could.!! Mom never used to allow me go beyond the lane across my street!! but still, that was my wish desire, dream.. or whatever i could think off!i really wanted to do many many things,..... play around , be independent, etc etc.... but u see, i was always kept away coz i was a little girl,... toooo young!!

i was really fascinated by this 12th grade guy of my school driving in such a cool manner..!!! he was always surronded by girls ....... i didnt know why..!!
one fine day,.... i didnt know what made me so curious, but i just felt i had to sneak into the gardener's place!!
he was digging there for past many months,.. yet there wasnt even a strand of grass to be seen!
i remember the day clearly...... coz it happened only 2 months ago,... when i was still a cute 6 year old! ( well, now, i'm 16, but thats different!)
the gardener bugger was away!!
.........busy licking my icecream, i made my way slowly into the cottage.
It was open, ..... nobody inside ......! I kept a few steps inside.......... STRANGE,...... i felt like throwing my icecream away..... i somehow felt it tasted weird!
i felt really strange...... i no longer wanted to play,...... i wanted to party, i wanted to wear designer costumes, i wanted to study more!, I wanted to ............... HEY, I FELT BIG.

i felt i knew so much mathematics and chemistry!i knew what complex numbers were!
i knew about the quantum mechanics!!
... how the hell will a 6 year old know all these?????
there was something in the air....... something strange about the whole cottage.......!

but i could hear foot steps, ...................the gardener's foot steps!
oh my gosh, what was i gonna do???????

but WAIT.......
he wasnt running towards me!
he was looking at something else!
something brown next to the stone, something dirty!!
WHY THE HELL IS HE LOOKING AT THE COW DUNG????????

I Stood watching!................................................

Two 12th graders were walking towards the dung too! one pretty girl, and one nice guy! both lost in their own world! they didnt know where they were heading to!

HEY FOOLS , DONT STAMP THAT SHITT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .................

..................THAT WAS TOO LATE,

EVERYTHING ELSE HAPPENED WITHIN A FLICK OF A SECOND !!
I COULD HEAR THE GARDENER SHOUTING SOMETHING .... ABOUT THE AGE FORMULA......... I DIDNT KNOW WHAT!

THERE WAS A BLAST OF WIND AND SOME SMOKE BESIDE ME,................. .......

HEY, I LOOKED SOO DIFFERENT! I HAD GROWN!
I WAS NO LONGER A SIX YEAR OLD!.......... I WAS SIXTEEN! both physically and mentally, i was sixteen!
i was'nt born in the year 1996. i was born in 1990

days later, i joined this 12th grade..... my favourite class! off course with proper examination... in which i exceeded expectations!i did whatever i liked, i studied, partied, enjoyed freedom, cycled,roamed, got tanned etc
this guy who drove this cycle became my friend....... he was a bit stupid though.....the pretty girl who helped be b-cum 16.... sits next to me in the claz. and she's my best frnd now!!
but whatever happenned to the gardener,..... god only knows!!!
and as far as i am concerned, i'm sooooo happy!

so dear blog readers, i'm not a six year old anymore!so dont treat me like a kid!!!
.................... not just me, ..... but even your own siblings!
everyone cant be soo lucky like me! every young kid wouldnt get a magician gardener like i did!

childhood is so so so sweet. so, dont let your child want to grow up soon!
anyway, ................... since i'm sixteen now, my mom wants me to cook............ bad idea isnt it?
so there ends my story........

........... six to sixteen